How to Stop Taking Things Too Personally (For a Highly Sensitive Person)

How many nights have you gone to bed replaying that one thing someone said…

…and convinced yourself it meant everything you feared was true?

I’ve done it more times than I can count.
Staring at the ceiling, chest tight, inventing whole backstories for a comment someone probably forgot they even made.

When you’re already stretched thin, caring for a loved one, juggling everything else, your brain can become a rumor mill with no filter. Under stress, it will take the smallest glance, tone, or text message and turn it into a personal indictment.

The truth?
It’s rarely about you.
But when your nervous system is running hot, it feels like it is.

Why Caregivers Take Things So Personally

When you’re caring for someone you love, the lines blur. You’re not just helping with meals or meds, you’re in the thick of their fear, frustration, and pain. And sometimes, that comes out sideways.

They might say something sharp. Something that cuts you right to the bone.
And it feels personal because it is. You love them. You’re not a robot.

But here’s the thing…

…if you want to keep loving them and yourself, you have to stop letting those moments dig into you and stay there.
Because if you let them, they will eat you alive from the inside out.

The Energy Leak You Can’t Afford

Every time you take something personally, you hand over a piece of yourself — your focus, your calm, your capacity to deal with what actually matters.

Your energy is not an endless tap. Picture it like a jar of marbles. Every marble you give to decoding a look, a comment, or a perceived slight is one less marble for the things that sustain you. Sleep. Food. Breath. Sanity.

Ask yourself: Is this moment worth a marble?
If the answer’s no, put it back in the jar.

Quick Resets to offset the Overthinking Spiral

Here’s what I do when I catch myself slipping into the “they must think…” spiral:

1. Will This Matter in a Week?

Most of the time, the answer is no. Say it out loud. It’s harder for the thought to stick when you hear yourself puncture it.

2. Exhale Like You Mean It

Stand or sit. Inhale into your belly. Then exhale hard, like you’re blowing out birthday candles for someone you don’t like. Drop your shoulders at the same time. Your body gets the signal: “Not worth the fight.”

3. Touch Something Real

Grab a mug. A pen. A sweater. Feel the texture, the weight, the temperature. Anchor your mind to this moment instead of the one you’ve constructed.

In Different Areas of Life

At Work
That snide comment at the meeting? It’s probably about their bad day, not your worth. You’re not a mind reader — stop acting like one.
At Home
That short text with no emoji? Doesn’t automatically mean they’re upset with you. People’s energy dips for a hundred reasons. It’s not your job to solve all of them.
As a Caregiver
If they snapped, it might be exhaustion, pain, or fear talking — not a scorecard on how well you’re caring for them. You are not failing. You are human.

A Note to the Tender-Hearted

Taking things personally is often a sign you care deeply. That’s not a flaw. But caring doesn’t mean you have to carry every shard that flies your way.

So tonight, before you collapse, ask yourself:
What’s one thing I need right now that’s mine?
Maybe it’s silence. Maybe it’s tea. Maybe it’s turning off your phone.

Whatever it is, let it be enough.

-Alicia

P.S. Here are a few related resources you may find helpful

*How to Stop Obsessing Over Rejection

*Byron Katie’s Self-Inquiry